Phil 1:14

my experience at this meet has been incredible!!! i apologize for the lateness of my blogging, but we'll play some catch up:

so my meet obviously didn't go as well as i would have liked, but the opportunity to compete at such a high level was incredible. never in my life have i performed in front of over 300,000 fans. not to be cliche, but the crowd was electrifying!! wow!!
so, to run through my hep, i got a pr (personal record) in the hurdles (my old pr of 13.73 was wind aided). it was very exciting because i was first in my heat, and the media apparently loves shoving a camera in your face if you win your heat. onto high jump: i jumped 1.80m (5'11ish). although this wasn't a pr, i was very pleased to be jumping at high heights considering i struggled at 5'7 at usa's. after the high jump, we had a 6 HOUR BREAK. OMG...it was nice to have the rest, but i did not need 6 hours. during the break, they had a full lunch for us and lots of snacks. i enjoyed some pasta and chicken, and then took advantage of the dim lights and cots they had set up for us. it was amazing how well they treated the multi event athletes--very professional. after the break, we went on to shot put. warmups were pretty good, but when it came to the competition, i could not find a rhythm to save my life. i ended up fouling all three of my throws, and my hopes of a top ten finish were dashed. as soon as i fouled my last throw, i kinda felt like someone had punched me in the chest. i then proceeded to slowly walk over to my stuff, sit down, and stare off into space for about 10min. after about ten minutes, i put my head in my hands and tried to comprehend what i had just done. the devastating part was that i had never fouled out in the shot put in my life (there's a first time for everything right?). upon the completion of the event, i began to come up with all the reasons i should pull out of the competition: my right quad was sore, my left hamstring was hurting, my motivation was gone, i would finish dead last in this competition, and many more. after making up my decision to quit, i had a little convo with diana pickler (another heptathlete from usa and my future training partner). diana urged me to finish the competition because if i didn't, i would regret it for the rest of my life. Coach Carol Gilbert-Smith also chimed in although, she didn't really give me a choice, haha. after some soul searching and many tears, i decided to fight on and finish my first World Championship competition. also, i'm a Wade, and that's what we do. So, i ran my 200m in a slow time, but the effort was 110%. i heard i looked good while running, so i'll take that over the time, lol. After the 200m, i did my little cool down jog and hopped on the bus back to the hotel. no matter how hard i tried not to think about it, the tears just started running. it was crazy cause i remember wondering how i could cry so much when i was so dehydrated. anyway, so i was just so sad and down because i thought my meet was going to go so well. it was bad, but i stayed near God the entire time. Prior to stepping in the ring for my last throw and directly after i stepped out of the ring after my last fouled throw, i said to myself, "Bettie, you are exactly where you are suppose to be, and God is in total control". i don't remember how many times i had to recite proverbs 3:5-6 (Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding). i took solace in these words, and even though they did not make the tears stop, i knew that my Heavenly Father had His hand on my situation. it made me even more sad to think about how God was feeling watching me weep. God didn't want to see me sad, but He knew that this had to happened if my life was going to be a fulfilled and extraordinary life. with my trust in God, i cried myself to sleep and tried not to think about the next day or what had happened. warming up for long jump the next morning was good, and the legs were feeling ready to jump far. my first jump was over 6.50, but it was a close foul, the second was a bad, but safe jump, 6.18. i went for the gold my final jump, but my stride was way too long, and i walked through the sand to foul it in order to save face. during our 7 hour break, my motivation was completely down, and i could not wait to finish the competition. in between my naps, i opened up a book my sister had given me called "the power of determination" by joyce meyers. after reading many entries, i realized that although i had not given up, i had given in and lost heart. YOU CANNOT DO THIS. my gaze had slowly shifted from God to my circumstances, and that was definitely not a good place to look. i realized that this was the hardest thing i've ever done in my athletic career, but i also realized that i did not have to do it alone. i could rely on God's strength to carry on. this was all good but even with my new mindset, i still doubted whether or not my body would be able to handle the competition (my quad was extremely tight and my hamstring was slightly strained). at one point, i prayed that i would pull my hammy, so i would be forced out of the competition. during one of my bathroom breaks, i looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Bettie, do you want to finish this competition". my first response was "yes", so i said, "ok. then that's what we're going to do. no more thinking about dropping out. YOU WILL FINISH." no weapon formed against me shall prosper, so i knew my aches and pains were just the devil trying to take my eyes off of God. BUT, i was not having it! "devil, keep my name out yo mouth!" so i went into the javelin with new zeal and a renewed spirit. i ended up throwing a pr of 36.70, and was very happy. with only one event to go, i was excited to finally be done. due to some holdups, we only had about 20min after javelin to prepare to run the 800m. since i was in near last place, i was in the first heat of the 800s. we were on hour 21 of the heptathlon, and boy, did it hurt. i think i started getting bootylock in the first 250 (i normally don't get it until 600 in, fml) whatever tho, i finished the 800 with about 95% effort and was sooo happy to be done. you have no idea...
in the end, i finished two spots up from last place and my score was actually better than that of my first ever heptathlon. i've come a long way, and i have much more to go. God was with me during the entire competition, and i am thankful that He allowed me to stay close (whenever God feels far away, guess who moved?")
last thought, it is crazy how much i grew during that competition and how much character i gained. it sucks going through the hard times, but sometimes, they're the only way we can grow.